Tag: humansexuality

Your 20s are Horseshit.

I don’t want to lie to you or pretend. They are awful. You are broke, you’re confused, you find out your parents are human, your apartment sucks, you learn all kinds of terrible lessons, you get so wasted you black out and don’t remember any of the amazing times you had, you realize your degree did fuck all for you, and you will probably get one (curable) STD.

Oh and someone MIGHT convince you anal sex is fun and awesome – maybe it is – but this is not the opinion I hold. Poo freaks me out. Maybe that makes me 7 but I can’t handle it.

Its confusing. It is a time of extreme highs and extreme lows. My extreme low came out of carving my way through a family sized fettucini alfredo with my bare hands. Waking up with it crusted under my nails. They weren’t glamorous times.

I PROMISE though, that your 30s are infinitely better. Your adult acne even goes away. It is a MAGICAL time. You MAY even get life insurance! (Like I did because I am paranoid of tragedy and random death – uplifting I know).

You sometimes start seeing people surpass you in their relationships, jobs, finances, experiences and this can be HARD. But everyones time comes :) I promise!

Click here for the 3 minute video of me snapping out about anal sex and spanx.